Thursday, May 27, 2010

File Under: They're Not Going to Let You in the Car

By Wade

Politico has posted what may be the first official Obama recognition that he will never be let in the car:

“The day has passed when I expected this to be a full partnership.”

There is hardly any “room for cooperation” in the Republican Party, Obama said.

I'm amazed he tried for as long as he did.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Rose by Any Other and All That Hooplah

By Wade

CNN posted a story about how names can influence one's life. As both a writer and someone with a semi-uncommon name, this article intrigued me.

One unusual name that made it into the SSA's 1,000 most popular names recently is Nevaeh, which is "heaven" spelled backward.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Readers, I am heretofore issuing a divine mandate that thou shalt slap any parent who inflicts this name upon a child.
The Social Security Administration announced this month that Isabella reigns as the top baby girl's name in America...Parents can be influenced by Hollywood, said Michael J. Astrue, SSA commissioner. He thinks the name Isabella reached the top spot because of the hit "Twilight"

Dammit. Okay, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Astrue also speculated the name Lindsay fell from No. 381 in 2008 to No. 524 in 2009 because of actress Lindsay Lohan's legal woes.

As much as I fucking hate the word "sheeple" (and the brand of political tard which uses that word) it seems woefully accurate here.
When Angelina Jolie named her children Shiloh and Maddox, naming experts predicted those names would become popular in coming years. Maddox has already seen steady gains in the past five years, climbing to No. 180

Oh c'mon, really? You're going to saddle your spawn with the same name as one of the worst internet curmudgeons in the history of the tubes? Seriously. Plus, name one Angelina Jolie movie besides Hackers that's good. You can't.

"But Wade," you say, a pleading look in your eyes, "Assuredly not all of America can possibly be this stupid."

You are right, sir and/or madam. Some of it is stupider.
...children with "black-sounding" names such as Lakisha and Jamal are 50 percent less likely to receive a call back for a job interview compared to "white-sounding" names such as Emily or Greg.

DURP! As much as this makes me lose faith in my fellow Americans, it at least gives me more ammo for when Libertarians claim that affirmative action is unnecessary, and if they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps then blah blah blah vomit.

Oh, and maybe you've heard of this second helping of DURP! Yay, likely another urban legend, something cut from the same classy mold as the Obama witch doctor photos.

The article does go into some actually interesting bits of potential facts (kids with C or D names do worse in school than kids with A or B names) but let me break this down for you, in case you're trying to figure out how to not doom your progeny with your denominational shenanigans:

If you name your kid, he or she will get made fun of by other children.

Trust me.

It doesn't matter how stupid the taunt is ("Ooooh, Wade in the water!" "Wade the duck!" "Wade, you're a stupid piece of shit!") it'll still fuel the animosities of their primary school years. So give them whatever idiotic name celebrities or vapid literature has made popular this year, and then invest in karate lessons, so that way they can at least beat the crap out of the other kids.




Man, if those kids could see me now. I'd show them who's Wade in the water. Got my own freakin' blog. Well, shared blog. And it even has a .blogspot at the end, so you know it's for real.

Would You Be Allowed In Our Country?

By Wade

MSNBC has a 20-question mock citizenship test. It's important to note that the actual test for immigrants is not multiple choice, but these are some of the more difficult questions.

I missed one: ten points to the person who guesses which it was.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Who the Heck is Dan Maes?

By Dave

Earlier this week, upstart Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes beat out establishment figure and former congressman Scott McInnis at the Colorado state GOP assembly.

All I could think was, "Who the heck is Dan Maes?"

So here's what I've got: Maes is an Evergreen businessman turned tea party activist who, with little name recognition, has been able to plug in to the anti-incumbent and anti-establishment fervor permeating the Republican party.

His platform:
1. Increase efficiencies in the area of FTE counts thus reducing the size of state government freeing up funds for other priorities.
2. Identify areas for program consolidation or elimination including positions that duplicate the purpose of an executives responsibility.
3. Reverse the executive orders that created the state employees union, and funding for Planned Parenthood
4. Restructure the content of the COGCC and work toward a more energy friendly regulatory environment in order to drive energy severance tax revenue to its highest in the state’s history while encouraging new energy models
5. Give tax incentives to all small businesses that hire at least 1 new employee in 2011
6. Support choice in education including home, charter, public and private options. Work for a tax credit for those who choose home or private schools
7. I will defend the Tax Payers Bill of Rights (TABOR) and work aggressively to reverse any legislation implemented by Ritter Administration that violates TABOR. (i.e. Faster Legislation, property tax mill levy freeze, dirty dozen tax exemptions)
8. Reduce the personal income tax to a level of 4.5% by 2012
9. 5% unemployment rate by the end of 2013
10. Initiate a new era of stricter enforcement of existing legislation and state laws including those covering vehicle registration, drivers licenses, DUI, and illegal immigration.
11. Limit new legislation to 3 bills per member of the assembly
12. Facilitate mutually beneficial resolution between our states strong military economy and private property owners in Pinon Canyon Area.
Also he proudly supported the Personhood amendment in 2008, thinks marriage should be legally defined as strictly between a man and a woman, opposes stricter oil and gas regulations, and will try to block the implementation of the recent health care reform.

In short, he is exactly the opposite of what Colorado wants or needs. His goals would leave Colorado backward and bankrupt.

O Bother

By Dave

Godxiliary has created a hilarious and terrifying children's book, Alien vs. Pooh. Brilliant!

Also check out The Poohing (The Shining and Winnie the Pooh mashup)

How 'Bout No?

By Wade

By now, everyone's heard about the giant clusterfuck in the gulf known as the BP spill. You might have even heard about how BP's been manipulating Google results to bury their bad press. However, ladies and gentlemen of the American public who read my blog, hear me now: they're not done fucking us yet.

Congress is getting ready to quadruple — to 32 cents a barrel — a tax on oil used to help finance cleanups. The increase would raise nearly $11 billion over the next decade.


FANTASTIC. Hrm... There really does need to be a sarcasm font.
FANTASTIC!
Better?
You should be shaking your head at this point. Because you know what? Those taxes will be directly passed onto us at the pump, and there's no surer way to piss us off than making us pay more for gas. Alternately, questioning our sexuality. Or our guns.

See, the thing is, I'd be fine with a tax like this that went to decreasing our dependency on oil with some sort of more permanent solution. I understand that the oil companies want to make money; it's their prime directive. Make it profitable to not be an oil company. You know how we subsidize the shit out of beef and corn so that way all our chillens be fat? Do that with alternative energy and public transportation (and fruits and vegetables, but that's another rant).

Listen, I get it BP, you're sad that you made a boo-boo, and Congress is somehow very sympathetic to an oil company. Guess what, though. This is exactly the kind of shit that I point to when people get upset about homeowners defaulting on their mortgages. Own up, fix your mistake, and try not to be such a loser in the future.

"Taxpayers will not pick up the tab," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., said Monday.

BP executives told Congress last week they would pay "all legitimate claims" for damages...Money spent from the fund can later be recovered from the company responsible for the spill.

"Oh," you say, "We're gonna take care of this and all the legitimate claims. Don't you worry! You can get your money back later, sure can!"

Right, we've heard that song and dance before. Last I checked, the banks were laughing all the way to the... uh, to themselves?

And in case you're a visual person, check out these photos. They're not, y'know, happy photos. In case you were expecting bunnies. Or boobies*.


*Any boobies or bunnies in these pictures will be dying a slow petroleum death.

Only Two-thousand Or So Years Behind the Romans

By Wade
Can I say effin' finally?

"We have developed a legislative proposal for consideration by the House and Senate that puts a process in place to repeal 'don't ask, don't tell' once...the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs certify that repeal can be achieved consistent with the military's standards..." said the letter sent Monday night that was signed by Sen. Carl Levin, D-Michigan; Sen. Joe Lieberman, I-Connecticut; and Rep. Patrick Murphy, D-Pennsylvania.
(link)

Or perhaps I should say that is a big effin' deal?

The article goes on to vaguely discuss compromises between the White House's vision and a "working group" in the military that's reviewing the matter, but I say progress is better than nogress (first syllable like egg nog, second syllable like egress, means the opposite of progress, you owe me a dime if you use it).

Now I know you guys might be thinking, "Wait a second, I thought this blog imploded when all its contributors went back to school?"

Well, in the words of one of my favorite superheroes, "It's me, I'm here, deal with it."

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

how to save the world with gaming

been quite a while since i posted, partially because of school. just haven't found anything interesting to say to the general public. This changes that quite a lot.
now, as i'm sure some of you remember, i'm a nerd. it's interesting to see how that's become something that a person can say without expecting any derision. jane mcgonigal is banking on that, in fact, and hopes to use nerd-power to save the world.

for anyone out there not interested in watching a 20 minute TED talk (shame on you!), the basics of what's being discussed here is that gamer-nerds have spent well more than the "standard" 10k hours mastering gaming. there's an entire generation of gamer virtuosos. what does this mean for humanity?

well, gamers are pretty good at certain things. problem solving is, of course, necessary to any gamer. what's more, gamers have attuned themselves to a thought process that expects to overcome any obstacle, no matter how long it takes. furthermore, studies have shown that behaviour patterns capable of effecting overarching change in a video game can persist in real life (no, i'm not interested in turning this into a violent games are bad argument. trust me, it doesn't relate).

jane has been developing games to help change the world. one such is evoke, which i haven't given a chance yet, but am about to. simply put, i'm too interested in this idea to not share it before i do anything else.

check it out, folks. let's save the world.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Victory!

By Dave

We've been back in school so updates have been few and far between but much of this blog has been dedicated to following the health care reform debate. Tonight that debate has been laid to rest.

President Obama has been criticized by all sides over the last year and while we can't know the counter-factual, we do know that many have tried before and have failed. This history makes tonight all the more impressive. The House of Representatives acted boldly and courageously. It wasn't an easy vote. We don't know what November will bring although it is not hard to predict some Democratic losses, as almost every incumbent party loses seats during a midterm election.

So in the face of political repercussions, our elected representatives chose to do what was right instead of  what was good for their individual reelection chances. That doesn't happen often. I'm really proud of them tonight and I plan to call my representatives tomorrow to personally let them know. I hope you will do the same.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Reunion of SNL Presidents

By Wade

You can thank Ron Howard once again for this little bit of nostalgia.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Politico's Editorial Meeting

By Dave

This is great! Also I want to see that story on the tea party...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Potbelly Hill Gives Some Insight into Religion and Society


by E.doc

There was a Turkish temple that was found dating back 11,500 years that is causing a raucous. Apparently, this temple predates civilization, and is making scientists rethink how society evolved. The old thought is that religion is a product of society. "All our theories were wrong," says Ian Hodder, director of Stanford's archaeology program. This temple, called Göbekli Tepe (Turkish for Potbelly Hill), predates agriculture, animal domestication, and specialized labor. It is thought that the temple was the origin of the city, and that in order to maintain the temple, a culture of people sprang up around it.

Potbelly Hill also predates the Great Pyramid by 7,000 years, AND, get this, Stonehenge by 6,000 years.

I don't know about other readers, but this sheds new light and makes me rethink the possiblities of religion. No difinitive answers come up of course, but just something more to think about.



photo cred: Newsweek and Berthold Steinhilber /Laif-Redux

Sunday, February 21, 2010

SC State Republican Rep. Wants to Ban Money

By Dave

For reals:
South Carolina will no longer recognize U.S. currency as legal tender, if State Rep. Mike Pitts has his way.
Pitts, a fourth-term Republican from Laurens, introduced legislation earlier this month that would ban what he calls “the unconstitutional substitution of Federal Reserve Notes for silver and gold coin” in South Carolina.
If the bill were to become law, South Carolina would no longer accept or use anything other than silver and gold coins as a form of payment for any debt, meaning paper money would be out in the Palmetto State.
Pitts said the intent of the bill is to give South Carolina the ability to “function through gold and silver coinage” and give the state a “base of currency” in the event of a complete implosion of the U.S. economic system.
“I’m not one to cry ‘chicken little,’ but if our federal government keeps spending at the rate we’re spending I don’t see any other outcome than the collapse of the economic system,” Pitts said.
Holy crap! .... this guy is on his fourth-term! Do people in South Carolina actually check who they are electing or do they just draw names out of a hat? Sheesh

South Carolina: please do this! Also please send me all of your worthless Federal Reserve notes so that I may dispose of them properly.

H/T LGF

Thursday, February 11, 2010

What's in the Tea?

By Dave

To anyone watching, it was pretty evident that the Tea Party movement people were out of their minds. It's an obvious conclusion, if you've had any exposure to their angry screaming over 'death panels', imbecilic hand wringing over 'czars', weird 'new world order' rants, shrill cries of socialism. Add to this an assortment of anti-immigration, anti-evolution, anti-global warming, isolationist rhetoric mixed with an elementary school level understanding of the American Revolution and it's pretty clear that most of these people are well-intentioned people who just happen to be politically unhinged.

Well, others are finally starting to get it too. Jonathan Kay, writing for Newsweek, attended the conference in Nashville and came away pretty shaken:
One of the most bizarre moments of the recent tea-party convention came when blogger Andrew Breitbart delivered a particularly vicious fulmination against the mainstream media, prompting everyone to get up, turn toward the media section at the back of the conference room, and scream, "USA! USA! USA!" But the tea partiers' well-documented obsession with President Obama has hardly been diffused by their knack for finding new enemies.
Steve Malloy, author of Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Ruin Your Life, kicked off the first full day of conference proceedings by warning that Obama and his minions are conspiring to control every aspect of Americans' lives—the colors of their cars, the kind of toilet paper they use, how much time they spend in the shower, the temperature of their homes—all under the guise of U.N. greenhouse-gas-reduction schemes. "Obama isn't a U.S. socialist," Malloy thundered. "He's an international socialist. He envisions a one-world government."
I consider myself a conservative and arrived at this conference as a paid-up, rank-and-file attendee, not one of the bemused New York Times types with a media pass. But I also happen to be writing a book for HarperCollins that focuses on 9/11 conspiracy theories, so I have a pretty good idea where the various screws and nuts can be found in the great toolbox of American political life.
Within a few hours in Nashville, I could tell that what I was hearing wasn't just random rhetorical mortar fire being launched at Obama and his political allies: the salvos followed the established script of New World Order conspiracy theories, which have suffused the dubious right-wing fringes of American politics since the days of the John Birch Society.

Monday, February 8, 2010

"Rahmbo" SNL style

By Dave

Recently, Rahm Emanuel, Obama's notoriously foul-mouthed Chief of Staff, got in kinda hot water (lukewarm) for using the 'r-word' when he called progressive Democrats "fucking retards." True story! Then Sarah Palin lept into the fray to demand an apology because such words should be off limits (unless you're Rush Limbaugh and then it's "satire"). SNL presents Rahm Emanuel's even-tempered apology:



The whole thing is good but the Palin rant is truly epic!