They Took Our Search!

By Wade

BP's at it again. I know I alluded to this kind of bullshit in a previous post, but this one's got a confession from BP themselves!

BP spokesman Toby Odone confirmed to ABC News that the oil giant had in fact bought internet search terms. So now when someone searches the words ‘oil spill’, on the internet, the top link will re-direct them to BP’s official company website.

It also has a helpful widget at the bottom of the page that estimates how many gallons have leaked. As of this writing, we're up to 22,065,816 gallons. So if you want to keep the scale of your depression up to date, grab the widget!

Alternately, if you want a more active role, we could all head down to the Gulf with gas cans for our lawnmowers. It'd probably do about as much good as BP's daring schemes so far.

Oh This Is Just Too Good

By Wade

There has never been a time I've respected someone who's said "Do as I say, not as I do."

As Rush Limbaugh weds today for the fourth time , we're suspecting that his new 33-year-old bride...

Now I know it's not going to come as a shock to anyone that Limbaugh's a hypocrite with a trophy wife, but that doesn't mean we can't still laugh at him for it. Y'know, that first link just has the cars.

Here we go, here's a look that says, "Ugh, I'll sleep with him for as long as it takes to get my half of the money (alternately, however much the prenup stipulates)."

Well new Mrs. Limbaugh, I'd just like to personally extend my sympathy and respect to you for your commitment to gold-digging. You've truly gone the extra mile with this one, and I think we can all collectively say "better you than us." Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go throw up chicken cordon bleu while my mind tortures me with visuals of Rush Limbaugh blubberously mangling the beauty that is sex.

For those of you reading at home, it kinda reminds me of the scene in Orgazmo with the T-Rex, only more horrifying.