Who the Heck is Dan Maes, Ctd.

By Dave

Since I was harsh in my criticism, I thought I should offer a couple of thoughts on why Dan Maes is wrong for Colorado:

1) Until I learn more, Maes appears to be full of contradictions. He wants to reduce spending (on mostly low-cost social wedge issues), but he also would increase spending on stricter police enforcement for illegal aliens and drunk drivers. He would also give generous tax breaks to business and those who choose home schooling or private schools. He thinks government should stay out of the way of business, but should prevent two adults from the same sex marrying.

2) Maes plan for the state budget is nonsensical and implies deep and destructive cuts. Due to the recession, Colorado is facing somewhere between a $500 million and $1 Billion shortfall for next year. For years, the state has been making cuts and paring back the budget. Many state institutions are as efficient as they have ever been. This doesn't mean there is no waste to weed out, just that the savings from it will likely be minimal.

Last year, higher education got a stay of execution because federal stimulus money. In 2011, it won't be so lucky. In addition, the Colorado Department of Transportation sees an annual shortfall of $2.6 Billion. Maes position is to reduce transportation funding and budget revenue overall.

3) Given the severity of the recession nation wide, Colorado still has one of the better unemployment rates. In addition, we also have one of the lower tax rates and a fairly robust economy overall. The policies that have been serving Colorado well have been the ones aimed at investment in the high-tech and new energy economy. Maes appears to think this is a waste of time.

4) Given the recent excess by Arizona in combating illegal immigration, I am wary of Meas's rhetoric. Now, I am sure he would argue that he only dislikes illegal immigrants and has no problem with immigrants here legally. In that case, Maes should support comprehensive immigration reform which puts more people on the path to citizenship and legal residency. My guess is that's not his position. But if it is, he should say so. Until then, Maes is using the distinction of legality, taken from a broken and antiquated system, as a justification for expanded government intrusion in business to keep otherwise law-abiding people out of the economy. We need comprehensive immigration reform, not to beat up on people who are only looking for a better life for their families.

The End of DADT

By Dave

The House passed a measure that would end Don't Ask, Don't Tell. If the Senate follows their lead, the US will finally end their shameful record of banning gays and lesbians from serving openly in the armed services.

Unsurprisingly, only 5 Republicans voted in favor of the measure. Opposing the bill were 168 Republicans and 28 Democrats. The future will prove this to be a disgraceful moment for all of  them.

BP: You're Doing It Wrong

By Wade

If you ignore the style of the reporting, which is pretty consistent these days, the content of this video is good.

Urban Farming in NYC

By Dave

How cool and innovative is this!? New York is building a working urban farm on top of a Lower East Side elementary school:

The Fifth Street Farm Project has it all: It addresses childhood obesity, stormwater runoff, and climate change. Conceived by a grassroots organization of teachers, parents, and green-roof advocates, the project’s plan calls for a roof farm atop the Robert Simon Complex, a massive public school building on the Lower East Side that houses elementary schools P.S. 64 and the Earth School, as well as the Tompkins Square Middle School.

We need to do something like this in Boulder Valley! What an awesome way to grow local, teach children about agriculture, and incentivize healthier lifestyles.

Dave's Plan to Balance the Budget

By Dave

The Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget offers a budget simulator or "an online exercises in hard choices." Your goal is to stabilize the U.S debt at 60% of GDP by 2018.

This was easier to achieve than I initially thought. I favor a mixture of revenue increases and spending cuts in order to put us back on a more fiscally responsible path and this exercise demonstrated that, if we wanted to, it would be hard, but not impossible. If we are serious about deficit reduction, the two big necessary actions are reform of military and entitlement spending.My preferences were to reduce our military engagement in Iraq and Afghanistan, allow the Bush tax cuts to expire except for the AMT patch, freeze certain discretionary spending, reduce ship building and end unnecessary military projects, nix the farm bill, enact a 5% VAT, and entitlement reform.

It seems to me that there is a serious case to be made for progressives picking up the mantle of entitlement reform while Obama is still president. If hard choices need to be made with social security and medicare, I'd rather those choices be made by a majority power that is sympathetic to the goals of the programs, instead of by a party ideologically hostile to the idea of a social safety net.

File Under: They're Not Going to Let You in the Car

By Wade

Politico has posted what may be the first official Obama recognition that he will never be let in the car:

“The day has passed when I expected this to be a full partnership.”

There is hardly any “room for cooperation” in the Republican Party, Obama said.

I'm amazed he tried for as long as he did.

A Rose by Any Other and All That Hooplah

By Wade

CNN posted a story about how names can influence one's life. As both a writer and someone with a semi-uncommon name, this article intrigued me.

One unusual name that made it into the SSA's 1,000 most popular names recently is Nevaeh, which is "heaven" spelled backward.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Readers, I am heretofore issuing a divine mandate that thou shalt slap any parent who inflicts this name upon a child.

The Social Security Administration announced this month that Isabella reigns as the top baby girl's name in America...Parents can be influenced by Hollywood, said Michael J. Astrue, SSA commissioner. He thinks the name Isabella reached the top spot because of the hit "Twilight"

Dammit. Okay, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Astrue also speculated the name Lindsay fell from No. 381 in 2008 to No. 524 in 2009 because of actress Lindsay Lohan's legal woes.

As much as I fucking hate the word "sheeple" (and the brand of political tard which uses that word) it seems woefully accurate here.

When Angelina Jolie named her children Shiloh and Maddox, naming experts predicted those names would become popular in coming years. Maddox has already seen steady gains in the past five years, climbing to No. 180

Oh c'mon, really? You're going to saddle your spawn with the same name as one of the worst internet curmudgeons in the history of the tubes? Seriously. Plus, name one Angelina Jolie movie besides Hackers that's good. You can't.

"But Wade," you say, a pleading look in your eyes, "Assuredly not all of America can possibly be this stupid."

You are right, sir and/or madam. Some of it is stupider.

...children with "black-sounding" names such as Lakisha and Jamal are 50 percent less likely to receive a call back for a job interview compared to "white-sounding" names such as Emily or Greg.

DURP! As much as this makes me lose faith in my fellow Americans, it at least gives me more ammo for when Libertarians claim that affirmative action is unnecessary, and if they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps then blah blah blah vomit.

Oh, and maybe you've heard of this second helping of DURP! Yay, likely another urban legend, something cut from the same classy mold as the Obama witch doctor photos.

The article does go into some actually interesting bits of potential facts (kids with C or D names do worse in school than kids with A or B names) but let me break this down for you, in case you're trying to figure out how to not doom your progeny with your denominational shenanigans:

If you name your kid, he or she will get made fun of by other children.

Trust me.

It doesn't matter how stupid the taunt is ("Ooooh, Wade in the water!" "Wade the duck!" "Wade, you're a stupid piece of shit!") it'll still fuel the animosities of their primary school years. So give them whatever idiotic name celebrities or vapid literature has made popular this year, and then invest in karate lessons, so that way they can at least beat the crap out of the other kids.




Man, if those kids could see me now. I'd show them who's Wade in the water. Got my own freakin' blog. Well, shared blog. And it even has a .blogspot at the end, so you know it's for real.

Would You Be Allowed In Our Country?

By Wade

MSNBC has a 20-question mock citizenship test. It's important to note that the actual test for immigrants is not multiple choice, but these are some of the more difficult questions.

I missed one: ten points to the person who guesses which it was.

Who the Heck is Dan Maes?

By Dave

Earlier this week, upstart Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes beat out establishment figure and former congressman Scott McInnis at the Colorado state GOP assembly.

All I could think was, "Who the heck is Dan Maes?"

So here's what I've got: Maes is an Evergreen businessman turned tea party activist who, with little name recognition, has been able to plug in to the anti-incumbent and anti-establishment fervor permeating the Republican party.

His platform:

1. Increase efficiencies in the area of FTE counts thus reducing the size of state government freeing up funds for other priorities.
2. Identify areas for program consolidation or elimination including positions that duplicate the purpose of an executives responsibility.
3. Reverse the executive orders that created the state employees union, and funding for Planned Parenthood
4. Restructure the content of the COGCC and work toward a more energy friendly regulatory environment in order to drive energy severance tax revenue to its highest in the state’s history while encouraging new energy models
5. Give tax incentives to all small businesses that hire at least 1 new employee in 2011
6. Support choice in education including home, charter, public and private options. Work for a tax credit for those who choose home or private schools
7. I will defend the Tax Payers Bill of Rights (TABOR) and work aggressively to reverse any legislation implemented by Ritter Administration that violates TABOR. (i.e. Faster Legislation, property tax mill levy freeze, dirty dozen tax exemptions)
8. Reduce the personal income tax to a level of 4.5% by 2012
9. 5% unemployment rate by the end of 2013
10. Initiate a new era of stricter enforcement of existing legislation and state laws including those covering vehicle registration, drivers licenses, DUI, and illegal immigration.
11. Limit new legislation to 3 bills per member of the assembly
12. Facilitate mutually beneficial resolution between our states strong military economy and private property owners in Pinon Canyon Area.

Also he proudly supported the Personhood amendment in 2008, thinks marriage should be legally defined as strictly between a man and a woman, opposes stricter oil and gas regulations, and will try to block the implementation of the recent health care reform.

In short, he is exactly the opposite of what Colorado wants or needs. His goals would leave Colorado backward and bankrupt.

O Bother

By Dave

Godxiliary has created a hilarious and terrifying children's book, Alien vs. Pooh. Brilliant!

Also check out The Poohing (The Shining and Winnie the Pooh mashup)

How 'Bout No?

By Wade

By now, everyone's heard about the giant clusterfuck in the gulf known as the BP spill. You might have even heard about how BP's been manipulating Google results to bury their bad press. However, ladies and gentlemen of the American public who read my blog, hear me now: they're not done fucking us yet.

Congress is getting ready to quadruple — to 32 cents a barrel — a tax on oil used to help finance cleanups. The increase would raise nearly $11 billion over the next decade.

FANTASTIC. Hrm... There really does need to be a sarcasm font.
FANTASTIC!
Better?
You should be shaking your head at this point. Because you know what? Those taxes will be directly passed onto us at the pump, and there's no surer way to piss us off than making us pay more for gas. Alternately, questioning our sexuality. Or our guns.

See, the thing is, I'd be fine with a tax like this that went to decreasing our dependency on oil with some sort of more permanent solution. I understand that the oil companies want to make money; it's their prime directive. Make it profitable to not be an oil company. You know how we subsidize the shit out of beef and corn so that way all our chillens be fat? Do that with alternative energy and public transportation (and fruits and vegetables, but that's another rant).

Listen, I get it BP, you're sad that you made a boo-boo, and Congress is somehow very sympathetic to an oil company. Guess what, though. This is exactly the kind of shit that I point to when people get upset about homeowners defaulting on their mortgages. Own up, fix your mistake, and try not to be such a loser in the future.

"Taxpayers will not pick up the tab," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., said Monday.

BP executives told Congress last week they would pay "all legitimate claims" for damages...Money spent from the fund can later be recovered from the company responsible for the spill.

"Oh," you say, "We're gonna take care of this and all the legitimate claims. Don't you worry! You can get your money back later, sure can!"

Right, we've heard that song and dance before. Last I checked, the banks were laughing all the way to the... uh, to themselves?

And in case you're a visual person, check out these photos. They're not, y'know, happy photos. In case you were expecting bunnies. Or boobies*.


*Any boobies or bunnies in these pictures will be dying a slow petroleum death.

Only Two-thousand Or So Years Behind the Romans

By Wade
Can I say effin' finally?

"We have developed a legislative proposal for consideration by the House and Senate that puts a process in place to repeal 'don't ask, don't tell' once...the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs certify that repeal can be achieved consistent with the military's standards..." said the letter sent Monday night that was signed by Sen. Carl Levin, D-Michigan; Sen. Joe Lieberman, I-Connecticut; and Rep. Patrick Murphy, D-Pennsylvania.

(link)

Or perhaps I should say that is a big effin' deal?

The article goes on to vaguely discuss compromises between the White House's vision and a "working group" in the military that's reviewing the matter, but I say progress is better than nogress (first syllable like egg nog, second syllable like egress, means the opposite of progress, you owe me a dime if you use it).

Now I know you guys might be thinking, "Wait a second, I thought this blog imploded when all its contributors went back to school?"

Well, in the words of one of my favorite superheroes, "It's me, I'm here, deal with it."