The Fuck Off Party

By Wade

I was looking at this image of the spill, entitled "Damn." That sums it up pretty well. However, because I'm also a masochist, I went through and read some of the comments, and this struck a chord:

You could chuck out even[sic] single incumbent in the House and Senate and not a single thing would change, you’d just get different faces telling the same lies.

It's not a unique sentiment. It's not new. But I wonder about it. I mean, let's assume best-case scenario; Dave and I are in charge. Two individuals, impervious to corruption, leading the free world. How long would it take us to fall? Is our system just doomed to repeat this sort of bullshit? Should we, could we create our own party immune to the moral reprehensibility that comes with public office?

Well, the Tea Partiers formed a political party, and they're barely literate. This is why I propose the "Fuck Off Party." Our tenets are simple, because people don't like things that are complicated. Wanna do something to endanger public/global health? Fuck off. Wanna play the stock market like a hacked slot machine and then complain to us when you run out of money? Fuck off. Wanna conveniently make a big stink out of wedge issues like abortion and immigration every time an even-numbered year comes around? Fuck off. In fact, our organization's founder(s) are working on a document, called the "Articles of Fuck Off" designed to cover nearly every conceivable situation the party might encounter in its race to the Oval Office.

Think you have what it take to join the FOP? Start writing up your own list of tenets and post them as a comment.

Top 5 Summer Movies I'm Excited For

By Dave

In addition to politics, I love movies! It's not a great summer for film really, but there are still a couple to get excited about. Here are the top five I'm waiting for:

1) Inception starring Leonardo DiCaprio and directed by Christopher Nolan. DiCaprio has been pretty much awesome in everything since Catch Me If You Can. Christopher Nolan hasn't stepped wrong since Memento and it looks like he's going to do it again here. I'm not even really aware of what the plot is about. All I know is, I want to see it. Bad.



2) The Killer Inside Me starring Casey Affleck and directed by indie filmmaker Michael Winterbottom. It's based on a book by Jim Thompson. Praising the book, Stanley Kubrick said it was "probably the most chilling and believable first-person story of a criminally warped mind he had ever encountered." Now that's an endorsement! Also it gets points for a really creepy trailer.




3) Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World starring Michael Cera. Looks awesome! Edgar Wright is another who hasn't stepped wrong. Both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz were excellent. I haven't read the comic but I like the video game feel of the movie. I think it'll be sweet!



4) Cyrus starring John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill. This movie has everything. A little sweetness, a little sadness, and a whole lotta funny. I love everyone involved.




5) The American starring George Clooney. George Clooney is this generations Carey Grant: cool, suave, and sophisticated. I really like the look and feel of this movie.



Special mention: Predators. I know, I know. It could be cheesy and really bad...but its produced by Robert Rodriguez and stars Adrian Brody. So, I want to see it anyways

Misreading the History of Progressivism

By Dave

Michael Tomasky believes Progressives are misreading their own history and as a result find themselves continually disappointed and in despair. This has the potential to jeopardize liberalism in the long-run.

Too often, when progressives think of American history, we think only of the snapshots: those glorious moments when a historic bill is signed into law, or when the great progressive leader thunderingly confronts the forces of reaction. It’s good to remember those; they are our lodestars. But they are moments. Actual history is slower, more tedious, and certainly less uplifting. It’s not for Obama’s sake, but for liberalism’s over the long haul, that we need to consider this reality and proceed in full awareness of it. It’s only by seeing this fuller picture that we can know how history actually unfolds in real time and place our present experience within that context.

The whole article is worth reading. I think we need to remember politics is a process and context is king. The limitations of the system are real and daunting. Great politicians, and great political moments, are the product of the right political conditions. Whether it was the emergence of the welfare state, or the civil rights movement, or even health care reform, the moments of victory were the products of the small marginal victories that preceded it.

Change takes time. Making the world a more prosperous, peaceful, and equitable place is the not just the work of a lifetime but of many lifetimes. The fight never ends. Utopia does not exist. The social system can not be remade in whole, instead each generation improves on it the best they can. Sometimes you win big and sometimes you win small, and it is vanity alone that makes us turn down a big win (like Health Care Reform) because it doesn't meet our expectations of utopia. Incremental revolution is the only real and sustainable revolution.

For me, this is a reminder that every victory counts.  Its also a reminder that we need to celebrate our victories a little more and use them to energize us for the fights ahead instead of using them as fodder to fight each other.

Where Does Your Hip-Hop Come From?

By Dave

Kon and Amir Present the 50 Greatest Hip-Hop Samples of All-Time. It's amazing how many come from really cool 50's and 60's jazz albums.

Can Charter Cities End Poverty?

By Dave

It's an idea being pushed by Stanford economist Paul Romer (son of former Colorado Governor Roy Romer). The idea is simple: the cornerstone of economic growth and development is rules. The rule of law, copyright law, property law, etc. Poor countries generally have awful rules and as a result have poor incentives structures necessary for economic growth.

To correct this, Romer proposes that developing countries grant a charter to allow foreign nations to build a city in their country. The foreign nation would import their laws and would administer the governance of the city. In theory, their name and recognition would give potential investors the incentive to invest which would provide jobs and wealth to anyone who chose to move to the city. Ordinary citizens of weak or broken states would have the opportunity to step on the economic ladder.

So if you're starting to think this is sounding a little neo-colonial.... well, yeah. Here's from the article:

But Romer is not just arguing for enclaves; he is arguing for enclaves that are run by foreign governments. To Romer, the fact that Hong Kong was a colonial experiment, imposed upon a humiliated China by means of a treaty signed aboard a British warship, is not just an embarrassing detail. On the contrary, British rule was central to the city’s success in persuading capitalists of all stripes to flock to it. Romer sometimes illustrates this point by citing another Communist country: modern-day Cuba. Cuba’s rulers have tried to induce foreign corporations to set up shop in special export zones, and have been greeted with understandable caution. But if Raúl Castro convinced a foreign government—ideally a rich democracy such as Canada—to assume sovereignty over a start-up city in Cuba, the prospect of a mini Canada in the sun might attract a flood of investment.

So, it's actually exactly neo-colonialism but it's of the willing sort. But does that mean it's a bad idea?

I don't know. From the article, it sounds like some countries might be interested. My biggest concern would be feasibility and security. Wouldn't a successful charter city be a target for terrorism? What about cultural clashes and ethnic tensions? What does this mean for the sovereignty of the host country?

Morally, I think if the host country wants a charter city and their citizens have the freedom to enter and leave the control of the city at their whim, then the neo-colonial aspects are not as abhorrent. Further, if it really is alleviating poverty and suffering, then that's a good thing.

I'm really interested in what others think on this. Comments and discussion are welcome!

Update: Here's Romer giving a talk at TED. It's worth listening to his argument for why charter cities are not colonialism.

They Took Our Search!

By Wade

BP's at it again. I know I alluded to this kind of bullshit in a previous post, but this one's got a confession from BP themselves!

BP spokesman Toby Odone confirmed to ABC News that the oil giant had in fact bought internet search terms. So now when someone searches the words ‘oil spill’, on the internet, the top link will re-direct them to BP’s official company website.

It also has a helpful widget at the bottom of the page that estimates how many gallons have leaked. As of this writing, we're up to 22,065,816 gallons. So if you want to keep the scale of your depression up to date, grab the widget!

Alternately, if you want a more active role, we could all head down to the Gulf with gas cans for our lawnmowers. It'd probably do about as much good as BP's daring schemes so far.

Oh This Is Just Too Good

By Wade

There has never been a time I've respected someone who's said "Do as I say, not as I do."

As Rush Limbaugh weds today for the fourth time , we're suspecting that his new 33-year-old bride...

Now I know it's not going to come as a shock to anyone that Limbaugh's a hypocrite with a trophy wife, but that doesn't mean we can't still laugh at him for it. Y'know, that first link just has the cars.

Here we go, here's a look that says, "Ugh, I'll sleep with him for as long as it takes to get my half of the money (alternately, however much the prenup stipulates)."

Well new Mrs. Limbaugh, I'd just like to personally extend my sympathy and respect to you for your commitment to gold-digging. You've truly gone the extra mile with this one, and I think we can all collectively say "better you than us." Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go throw up chicken cordon bleu while my mind tortures me with visuals of Rush Limbaugh blubberously mangling the beauty that is sex.

For those of you reading at home, it kinda reminds me of the scene in Orgazmo with the T-Rex, only more horrifying.

Yes, People This Stupid Actually Exist

By Wade

I have no words. Before you go any further, click on this link, then take a moment to absorb how monumentally deficient these people are.

A group of artists has been asked to lighten the faces of children depicted in a giant public mural at a Prescott school.

Okay, that's messed up.

...the school's principal says the request was only to fix shading and had nothing to do with political pressure.

Okay, so maybe it's a misunderstanding.

R.E. Wall...said he and other artists were subjected to slurs from motorists as they worked on the painting at one of the town's most prominent intersections..."We had children painting with us, and here come these yells of (epithet for Blacks) and (epithet for Hispanics)."

You've got to be shitting me.

Wall said school Principal Jeff Lane pressed him to make the children's faces appear happier and brighter.

Okay, well maybe it's just a coincidence. Or maybe it's like that scene in Knocked Up where they can't tell Katherine Heigl to lose weight, but they can tell her to "tighten" or "look at a scale and subtract that number by fifteen."

City Councilman Steve Blair spearheaded a public campaign on his talk show at Prescott radio station KYCA-AM (1490) to remove the mural.

...Blair mistakenly complained that the most prominent child in the painting is African-American, saying: "To depict the biggest picture on the building as a Black person, I would have to ask the question: Why?"

Wow, what a douchebag.

He insists the controversy isn't about racism but says the mural is intended to create racial controversy where none existed before.

"Personally, I think it's pathetic," he says. "You have changed the ambience of that building to excite some kind of diversity power struggle that doesn't exist in Prescott, Arizona. And I'm ashamed of that."

Okay, well maybe... Oh wait, no, still a douchebag.

Things aren't exactly looking good for the citizens of Arizona. Well, at least if you have that one nasty drop of non-White blood.

Y'know what I say? Colorado's nice this time of year, come hang out with us. Just make sure to keep your IDs handy till you cross the border.

A New Challenger Has Appeared

By Wade

I've been known to kick back with a beer or three in the eventide when amongst friends. A recent advance in beerological science may make having multiple drinks obsolete, however.

...beer that is repeatedly “freeze distilled” can achieve exquisite qualities and much higher alcohol concentrations...A little more than twelve months, the world's strongest beer was 27%...and the race is now on to break 50% alcohol by volume.

That's insane. It looks like the current frontrunner is some name I can't pronounce (Schorsbräu Schorsbock) at 43%. If anyone gets their hands on one, lemme know how they taste.

Any Skin Color But My Own Terrifies Me

By Wade

So if you have two eyes and a brain, this poll should not surprise you.

What I think this poll shows is that taxes and spending are not by any means the only issues that define TPM members; they are largely united in being unsympathetic to African Americans, militant in their hostility toward illegal immigrants, and very conservative socially. At a minimum, these data throw cold water on the view that the TPM is essentially libertarian. Based on these data, I would say that TPM members have much more in common with social conservatives that welcome government intervention as long as it’s in support of their agenda.

And before you go on about how liberals just wanna make the Tea Party look bad (BZZZT! They've got that handled on their own) this is Bruce Bartlett speaking. So let that sink in.

It also shouldn't be a surprise as to how popular the Tea Party has become. Hatred has always sold well in America. Shouting "rabble rabble rabble" may be a solid political strategy, but I'll be interested to see how it pans out when put into legislation.

The Spill's True Face

By Wade

The only way for people to realize how bad things are in the Gulf is to see it firsthand.

Who the Heck is Dan Maes, Ctd.

By Dave

Since I was harsh in my criticism, I thought I should offer a couple of thoughts on why Dan Maes is wrong for Colorado:

1) Until I learn more, Maes appears to be full of contradictions. He wants to reduce spending (on mostly low-cost social wedge issues), but he also would increase spending on stricter police enforcement for illegal aliens and drunk drivers. He would also give generous tax breaks to business and those who choose home schooling or private schools. He thinks government should stay out of the way of business, but should prevent two adults from the same sex marrying.

2) Maes plan for the state budget is nonsensical and implies deep and destructive cuts. Due to the recession, Colorado is facing somewhere between a $500 million and $1 Billion shortfall for next year. For years, the state has been making cuts and paring back the budget. Many state institutions are as efficient as they have ever been. This doesn't mean there is no waste to weed out, just that the savings from it will likely be minimal.

Last year, higher education got a stay of execution because federal stimulus money. In 2011, it won't be so lucky. In addition, the Colorado Department of Transportation sees an annual shortfall of $2.6 Billion. Maes position is to reduce transportation funding and budget revenue overall.

3) Given the severity of the recession nation wide, Colorado still has one of the better unemployment rates. In addition, we also have one of the lower tax rates and a fairly robust economy overall. The policies that have been serving Colorado well have been the ones aimed at investment in the high-tech and new energy economy. Maes appears to think this is a waste of time.

4) Given the recent excess by Arizona in combating illegal immigration, I am wary of Meas's rhetoric. Now, I am sure he would argue that he only dislikes illegal immigrants and has no problem with immigrants here legally. In that case, Maes should support comprehensive immigration reform which puts more people on the path to citizenship and legal residency. My guess is that's not his position. But if it is, he should say so. Until then, Maes is using the distinction of legality, taken from a broken and antiquated system, as a justification for expanded government intrusion in business to keep otherwise law-abiding people out of the economy. We need comprehensive immigration reform, not to beat up on people who are only looking for a better life for their families.

The End of DADT

By Dave

The House passed a measure that would end Don't Ask, Don't Tell. If the Senate follows their lead, the US will finally end their shameful record of banning gays and lesbians from serving openly in the armed services.

Unsurprisingly, only 5 Republicans voted in favor of the measure. Opposing the bill were 168 Republicans and 28 Democrats. The future will prove this to be a disgraceful moment for all of  them.

BP: You're Doing It Wrong

By Wade

If you ignore the style of the reporting, which is pretty consistent these days, the content of this video is good.

Urban Farming in NYC

By Dave

How cool and innovative is this!? New York is building a working urban farm on top of a Lower East Side elementary school:

The Fifth Street Farm Project has it all: It addresses childhood obesity, stormwater runoff, and climate change. Conceived by a grassroots organization of teachers, parents, and green-roof advocates, the project’s plan calls for a roof farm atop the Robert Simon Complex, a massive public school building on the Lower East Side that houses elementary schools P.S. 64 and the Earth School, as well as the Tompkins Square Middle School.

We need to do something like this in Boulder Valley! What an awesome way to grow local, teach children about agriculture, and incentivize healthier lifestyles.

Dave's Plan to Balance the Budget

By Dave

The Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget offers a budget simulator or "an online exercises in hard choices." Your goal is to stabilize the U.S debt at 60% of GDP by 2018.

This was easier to achieve than I initially thought. I favor a mixture of revenue increases and spending cuts in order to put us back on a more fiscally responsible path and this exercise demonstrated that, if we wanted to, it would be hard, but not impossible. If we are serious about deficit reduction, the two big necessary actions are reform of military and entitlement spending.My preferences were to reduce our military engagement in Iraq and Afghanistan, allow the Bush tax cuts to expire except for the AMT patch, freeze certain discretionary spending, reduce ship building and end unnecessary military projects, nix the farm bill, enact a 5% VAT, and entitlement reform.

It seems to me that there is a serious case to be made for progressives picking up the mantle of entitlement reform while Obama is still president. If hard choices need to be made with social security and medicare, I'd rather those choices be made by a majority power that is sympathetic to the goals of the programs, instead of by a party ideologically hostile to the idea of a social safety net.

File Under: They're Not Going to Let You in the Car

By Wade

Politico has posted what may be the first official Obama recognition that he will never be let in the car:

“The day has passed when I expected this to be a full partnership.”

There is hardly any “room for cooperation” in the Republican Party, Obama said.

I'm amazed he tried for as long as he did.

A Rose by Any Other and All That Hooplah

By Wade

CNN posted a story about how names can influence one's life. As both a writer and someone with a semi-uncommon name, this article intrigued me.

One unusual name that made it into the SSA's 1,000 most popular names recently is Nevaeh, which is "heaven" spelled backward.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Readers, I am heretofore issuing a divine mandate that thou shalt slap any parent who inflicts this name upon a child.

The Social Security Administration announced this month that Isabella reigns as the top baby girl's name in America...Parents can be influenced by Hollywood, said Michael J. Astrue, SSA commissioner. He thinks the name Isabella reached the top spot because of the hit "Twilight"

Dammit. Okay, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Astrue also speculated the name Lindsay fell from No. 381 in 2008 to No. 524 in 2009 because of actress Lindsay Lohan's legal woes.

As much as I fucking hate the word "sheeple" (and the brand of political tard which uses that word) it seems woefully accurate here.

When Angelina Jolie named her children Shiloh and Maddox, naming experts predicted those names would become popular in coming years. Maddox has already seen steady gains in the past five years, climbing to No. 180

Oh c'mon, really? You're going to saddle your spawn with the same name as one of the worst internet curmudgeons in the history of the tubes? Seriously. Plus, name one Angelina Jolie movie besides Hackers that's good. You can't.

"But Wade," you say, a pleading look in your eyes, "Assuredly not all of America can possibly be this stupid."

You are right, sir and/or madam. Some of it is stupider.

...children with "black-sounding" names such as Lakisha and Jamal are 50 percent less likely to receive a call back for a job interview compared to "white-sounding" names such as Emily or Greg.

DURP! As much as this makes me lose faith in my fellow Americans, it at least gives me more ammo for when Libertarians claim that affirmative action is unnecessary, and if they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps then blah blah blah vomit.

Oh, and maybe you've heard of this second helping of DURP! Yay, likely another urban legend, something cut from the same classy mold as the Obama witch doctor photos.

The article does go into some actually interesting bits of potential facts (kids with C or D names do worse in school than kids with A or B names) but let me break this down for you, in case you're trying to figure out how to not doom your progeny with your denominational shenanigans:

If you name your kid, he or she will get made fun of by other children.

Trust me.

It doesn't matter how stupid the taunt is ("Ooooh, Wade in the water!" "Wade the duck!" "Wade, you're a stupid piece of shit!") it'll still fuel the animosities of their primary school years. So give them whatever idiotic name celebrities or vapid literature has made popular this year, and then invest in karate lessons, so that way they can at least beat the crap out of the other kids.




Man, if those kids could see me now. I'd show them who's Wade in the water. Got my own freakin' blog. Well, shared blog. And it even has a .blogspot at the end, so you know it's for real.

Would You Be Allowed In Our Country?

By Wade

MSNBC has a 20-question mock citizenship test. It's important to note that the actual test for immigrants is not multiple choice, but these are some of the more difficult questions.

I missed one: ten points to the person who guesses which it was.

Who the Heck is Dan Maes?

By Dave

Earlier this week, upstart Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes beat out establishment figure and former congressman Scott McInnis at the Colorado state GOP assembly.

All I could think was, "Who the heck is Dan Maes?"

So here's what I've got: Maes is an Evergreen businessman turned tea party activist who, with little name recognition, has been able to plug in to the anti-incumbent and anti-establishment fervor permeating the Republican party.

His platform:

1. Increase efficiencies in the area of FTE counts thus reducing the size of state government freeing up funds for other priorities.
2. Identify areas for program consolidation or elimination including positions that duplicate the purpose of an executives responsibility.
3. Reverse the executive orders that created the state employees union, and funding for Planned Parenthood
4. Restructure the content of the COGCC and work toward a more energy friendly regulatory environment in order to drive energy severance tax revenue to its highest in the state’s history while encouraging new energy models
5. Give tax incentives to all small businesses that hire at least 1 new employee in 2011
6. Support choice in education including home, charter, public and private options. Work for a tax credit for those who choose home or private schools
7. I will defend the Tax Payers Bill of Rights (TABOR) and work aggressively to reverse any legislation implemented by Ritter Administration that violates TABOR. (i.e. Faster Legislation, property tax mill levy freeze, dirty dozen tax exemptions)
8. Reduce the personal income tax to a level of 4.5% by 2012
9. 5% unemployment rate by the end of 2013
10. Initiate a new era of stricter enforcement of existing legislation and state laws including those covering vehicle registration, drivers licenses, DUI, and illegal immigration.
11. Limit new legislation to 3 bills per member of the assembly
12. Facilitate mutually beneficial resolution between our states strong military economy and private property owners in Pinon Canyon Area.

Also he proudly supported the Personhood amendment in 2008, thinks marriage should be legally defined as strictly between a man and a woman, opposes stricter oil and gas regulations, and will try to block the implementation of the recent health care reform.

In short, he is exactly the opposite of what Colorado wants or needs. His goals would leave Colorado backward and bankrupt.